The Keys to a Happy Valentine’s and a Happy Life
By Greg Ritchie
Messenger Reporter
HOUSTON COUNTY – To our beloved and respected female readers…this article is not for you. You already forgive us men so much and some of you already know if your man is going to forget Valentine’s Day until the last minute. Yes, you know who you are.
This article is for any man reading this and thinking, “Wait, it’s Valentine’s Day again?”
If you are enjoying a hot beverage reading this and still haven’t made your Valentine’s Day plans – it may be too late. Flowers sell out, chocolates melt and restaurants fill up quick. While we men can put a lot of thought into Christmas, birthdays and Mother’s Day – Valentine’s Day just seems like so much work! And it’s probably too cold outside to go and hunt down a gift anyway!
Back in school we would put some candy and a little card in everyone’s bag. Easy. Then the teenage years came and things got more difficult. Should I buy that girl a special card? What if she doesn’t like me back? What are the guys going to say?
It turns out it’s an old holiday – really old. Dating back to the 5th Century, it’s named for Saint Valentine a Christian martyr. While some men may think they would be better off getting thrown to the lions than pick out flowers – Valentine’s Day is actually a special day.
Men and women see the world differently and most of the time fall into natural roles. Both forget the contributions of the other one. My wife is always cold and I tell her it’s like a sauna in here and she doesn’t pay the light bill! Doesn’t she know how much things cost these days?
But Valentine’s Day is a good day to celebrate that special woman in our lives and all the things they do for us that we probably stopped noticing.
I love nothing more than a good iced tea. I don’t really know how the process works, but every time one jar is empty a fresh one somehow gets made and I just keep on drinking. My clothes somehow go from dirty to clean and ironed – almost like magic.
And when I am having a rough day – a series of no answer’s or no comment’s – my wife is always there. My biggest fan. We can start to take these things for granted after a while, but it is the glue of any healthy relationship.
Like most of our holidays, Valentine’s Day has gotten over-commercialized. In a recent trip to a big box store in Crockett (yes, that one…) there must have been 10,000 different types of chocolates, toys, gifts, cards – things I would normally run from to see if they have that tiny little tool I never knew I needed.
But the key is, it’s not about the gift. Flowers and chocolates are the token, but it’s the love that needs to show. The appreciation. The, “I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do all this without you.”
A handmade letter or personal gift will do more to show her that you care more than any big brand box or collection or collection of boxes. Because I think that is what our women want more than anything. To know how much we need them. To know that we do still notice those little things. That they are needed and loved.
A good friend once told me, “If it wasn’t for my wife I would be happy living in a box under a bridge.” I know what he meant by that. Great poets such as Hank Williams and Waylon Jennings reminded us that a little fire, a bed out of the rain and a little meat in our bellies really can make us happy.
But as men, we are called on to get out there and pay for all kinds of things we never knew we needed. To let people cry on our shoulders over problems we cannot possibly understand. Because as men, that’s our job. No, we don’t get enough credit for it. But we don’t do it for the credit – we do it because we are men, by God, and if picking out some flowers and opening up our heart and saying some sweet words is what is called for – we should step right up without fear and do it.
And I don’t care how long you have been together and how many times she says it. If she says she doesn’t want anything, tells you to not go to too much trouble or says it will probably be a big hassle to get dressed up and go out – don’t you believe it. Tell her how much you love her, buy her something sweet and take her for a night out.
Human nature hasn’t changed all that much since the 5th Century.
Now for any of our ladies who read this whole way through – even though I asked you very nicely not to – I am ready for your responses. I am probably way off the mark and got the whole thing wrong again.
But most men, no matter their age, are basically big kids. Bless you for putting up with us!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Love to all!
Greg Ritchie can be reached at [email protected]
