The Art of the Resolution
By Will Johnson
Messenger Reporter
GRAPELAND – As the 2021 calendars are taken off the wall or desk top, New Year‘s resolutions are made, modified, changed and more often than not, just given up. Losing weight, getting in shape, helping others, quitting smoking and becoming a better person are all worthy goals that are usually gone by the first part of February (if not sooner).
An article in Psychology Today magazine stated, “Research has shown that, after six months, fewer than half the people who make New Year’s resolutions have stuck with them, and, after a year, that number declines to around ten percent.”
So, why do people give up on their resolutions? In the magazine article, Dr. Jim Taylor wrote baggage and habits are often the root of resolution failure.
“The most common types of baggage include: low self-esteem; perfectionism; fear of failure; need for control; anger; and a need to please,” Taylor stated. “This baggage causes us to think, feel, and behave based on who we were as children rather than who we now are as adults.”
According to Taylor, deeply ingrained habits in the way we think, experience emotions, and behave arise from this baggage.
“We react to the world in certain ways because that’s the way we always have; these habits produce knee-jerk reactions that are no longer healthy or adaptive,” Taylor stated in the article. “We don’t make an effort to change because of negative emotions that we are experiencing, such as fear, anger, sadness, or frustration. We also create an environment that helps us best manage our baggage, habits, and emotions.”
The psychiatrist asserted there are ways to change and actually keep your New Year’s resolution(s). The first one of these is to write it down. Actually, putting a pen to paper and expressing what you want to accomplish makes it seem real and perhaps even attainable. When you’re writing the resolutions down, keep them as positive as possible. Focus on the good that will come from achieving the goal you set forth for yourself.
One of the issues with a New Year’s resolution is that they are often way too nebulous and vague. Start small and be specific. If you make a resolution to lose weight, realize that you didn’t put on that extra 20 or 50 pounds overnight. And you’re certainly not going to lose it within a week. Set a goal of losing five pounds a month. This is a reachable goal and you’re more likely to keep it off.
Make sure the goal is obtainable. For example, if your resolution is to read more, start with something easy to read like a novel by Louis L’Amour or James Patterson. They’re fun and entertaining and they don’t take the work to plow through like a novel by Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Faulkner or James Joyce. Once you prove to yourself you can do it, set your sights a little higher.
Share your goals and resolutions with others. Find yourself a partner in crime and let them help you attain the desired outcome. Tell your wife, husband, kids, friends or share it with a group to which you might belong. When you have to check in with someone once a week, chances are you will hold yourself to a higher standard so that you don’t let them down. Even if they don’t seem to provide encouragement, the subtle self-pressure of not letting someone else down might be the motivating factor needed for your success.
Also, plan to fail, but have a plan to get back on track. For instance, if you want to quit smoking, realize that there will come a time that you cave in to temptation. Don’t give up, simply recognize that this is part of the process and get back on track. It’s what you do after a slip-up that determines the success or failure of your resolution.
In keeping a resolution, don’t set yourself up to fail because of money. If you can afford to join a gym to get back in shape and keep that resolution, do it. But if the monthly payments stretch the budget to the breaking point, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Don’t resolve to save fifteen percent of your take home pay, when after all necessary expenses are paid, you wind with only five percent. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
Finally, make sure that you review your goals on a regular basis. Don’t wait until next November to step on the scales. Keep your goals and resolutions front and center. Update yourself on where you want to be and celebrate your progress. Good Luck and Happy New Year!!
Will Johnson may be reached via e-mail at [email protected].
