Home Columnist THE WEEKENDER by Clyde Black 12-18

THE WEEKENDER by Clyde Black 12-18


Maybe A Pink One!”


It’s possible that this column may be for men more than for women.  I have a problem and I need some well-adjusted masculine advice.  That could be a problem in itself because we have to find a well-adjusted man somewhere for that advice.  As I often do, I’m looking to you guys for help.  You know how to reach me.  I have no idea what to get my wife for Christmas!  Time is getting short here and I have to decide on something soon!  In desperation, I finally just asked her what she wanted.  She replied, “Nothing.  No really, I don’t need anything”.

 Does that mean I don’t get her anything?  I don’t think so!  I asked about jewelry and she said no.  I asked about clothes and she recently bought some things she needed.  All of our pets are sick and causing stress at home right now so a new puppy is out of the question.  She likes to read but already has a Kindle and a subscription.  She likes politics but is already friends with Rep. Trent Ashby and helped him get his first bill passed.  They did away with proxy marriages in Texas (except for military).  Yes, the Strong Woman was the driving force behind that legislation. 

 It’s not romantic, but when she and I hooked up she had more tools than I did.  She does like having the right tools and actually knows how to use them.  She even appreciates good mops and brooms but I just can’t bring myself to buy them for Christmas.  We recently had a severe water leak that ruined some flooring.  We replaced the carpet with some high dollar wood laminate flooring and she is thinking about doing the whole house with the stuff.  It’s expensive so I don’t want to do that right now! 

Oh, my!  What am I thinking and stressing about.  Never mind my request for help.  You have already perked up my buying sense!  Guns!  That what she really likes!  She could already hold off a zombie attack but I know she would love another pistol.  Maybe a pink one!  God Bless Houston County and women willing to fight for her!

 From the Strong Woman – “I don’t do pink guns!  Now something in a nice matte finish would work.”