Here in Texas and really in much of the Southern United States, we’ve had a brutal summer with temperatures so high I’m sure that someone has tried to fry eggs on the sidewalk. Someone in Canada came up with a fun little chart about temperatures and their effects on people. So, before it gets cold, keep this handy little chart for reference. All temperatures are in Fahrenheit.
70 – Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
60 – North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.
50 – Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.
40 – Italian and English cars won’t start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.
32 – Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior’s water gets thicker.
20 – Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
15 – Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 DEGREES – People in Miami all stop moving.
Canadians lick the flagpole.
20 BELOW – Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.
40 BELOW – Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Guides of Canada are selling cookies door to door.
60 BELOW – Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
80 BELOW – Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.
100 BELOW – Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can’t thaw the keg.
297 BELOW – Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 BELOW – ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Canada start saying, “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
500 BELOW – The Americans win a gold medal in hockey. I’m writing this while watching the Olympics so this is really ‘spot on’,,,
Hope you enjoyed this. I thought it was cute and funny. People are so different and perceive things so differently from their neighbors. God bless you.