THE WEEKENDER BY CLYDE BLACK: Would You Like to See a Couple?

 Fortunately, I don’t have to go to the doctor very often.  I’ve been lucky.  Knock on wood, please.  Recently, I’ve had some severe pain in my right hip, leg and ankle.  I tolerate pain well but this really hurts.  I’ve known for years that some discs are ruptured but exercise and ice have kept me going.  This time it’s different because the pain won’t go away.

I decided to go see my doctor only to remember that he retired and contrary to promises of a previous President even my hospital is gone!

 Normally I would have given up by now on visiting a doctor but this time the pain is almost unbearable.  I found an urgent care spine place in Palestine and limped over there. First question was who my primary care giver is.  Uh, I think it’s now you guys was my response.

Now the questions started.  They handed me a booklet to fill out.  My pain was so bad that I couldn’t sit down to write so I’m standing in the waiting room trying to answer about surgery I might have had as a child.  First I had to decide my race and ethnicity.  I don’t know the difference.  I think I’m mostly a white guy so I assume my ethnicity is white also.  It wasn’t one of the choices.

 It really got hard to fill out when they got into questions about mental health and sexual ability.  Yes, they actually want to know if the stuff works if you know what I mean. I don’t know about you but if it wasn’t I wouldn’t tell total strangers and I don’t understand what that has to do with the pain in the leg.  It’s leg pain, doctor.  Not that other thing!  The questions continued:  Do you drink alcohol?  If so, how much? Answer, yes and enough, thanks.

Question: Do you have any mental health issues?  Answer, I don’t think so but the VA and a lot of mental health experts say I do!  Question, what is wrong?  They say I have PTSD.   Question:  Do you own any guns?  Answer, yes would you like to see a couple?  Security showed up and I had to explain my sense of humor.

 This adventure continues.  I’ve had a steroid shot in the hip, pills for nerve damage and some kind of strong Advil type thing.

Wish me luck and I tell you these things so that if we see each other and I don’t have my normal smile and happy attitude you might understand and just give me hug.  God, please bless Houston County!

[email protected]

Similar Posts