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THE WEEKENDER by Clyde Black: Climate Control

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The Strong Woman

“Climate Control (No Seriously)”

By Claire Cooper Black

Oh, the weather outside is frightful …  We have been having some dangerous weather the past couple of months.  And it’s not just Texas.  These bad band of storms have been stretching for states.  Not just a couple of states.  Usually about 5 to 6 states long.  With Texas included (and we all know that Texas is bigger than those other states involved).   These have been some really monster storms.

 And that brings me to the subject of “Climate Change, Global Warming, Global Cooling” or whatever the PC phrase is this week.  It’s hard to keep up with because the climate neurotics change their anxiety title about as often as Texas weather changes.

 I find these worrywarts fun to watch.  The get so ramped up about something they think they can control by forcing us to do numerous things.  Such as:

 1.    Drive an electric car.  Not going to happen in Texas.  One charge on an electric car wouldn’t get me to town and back.  Not to mention there isn’t anywhere to charge it.  Can you imagine having an emergency and your car isn’t fully charged? Put me on the heck (I’m watching my language here) no list for having an electric car.

2.    Kill all the cattle.  It appears that cattle flatulence causes something or other.  Not sure if it’s Global Warming or what.  I can tell you one thing.  My dog has more flatulence than any cow we have ever owned.  So, do we kill all the Pomeranians?  No, we don’t own a Pomeranian.  We have a real dog.  You can eat cattle.  You can’t eat a Pomeranian unless you are a certain former president.  But I digress.

3.    Turn your thermostat to 82 during the summer months.  Another thing that isn’t going to happen in houses and offices south of the 37th Parallel.

4.    Keep your tires property inflated.  This is one of my favorites.  They don’t really care that having underinflated tires is dangerous to your health.  Nope.  Just that it will save on energy consumption.

I’m sure that there are more ways that we can all do our “fair share” to control the climate.  As for me, I’m leaving it in the hands of the guy who actually controls the climate.  No, not Al Gore, the guy that created the internet which compels everyone to have a computer and use more … energy.  And who has his own private jet.  But I guess that’s just an “Inconvenient Truth” Al doesn’t want you to think about.

 I’m leaving it in the hands of the Lord.    

 Footnote:  I know Al Gore didn’t create the internet.  But he doesn’t.

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